Brian Buehrle/ I Did It!!

by Brian Buehrle

August 5, 2012

Yes, I did it!  I finally completed school, for now anyway.  I’ve worked hard this past year while I’ve been in classes and now I hope it will all pay off.  My finals were this week, plus I had two speeches to present for my Intro to Speech class.  Like many people, I was not looking forward to presenting speeches.  but, as it turns out, I’m really not all that bad at it.  I’m not saying I want to do it for a living just yet but it seems I’m more nervous about getting up in front of a group of people than I am about actually being in front of a group of people.  Once I get started, I relax quite a bit and just… talk.  I work for audience participation, then it simply becomes a conversation between myself and twenty others; I just happen to be the main contributor.

I like to think this new-found self-confidence, and perhaps some of my creativity, is due in no small part to the friends I have been “gaming” with on weekend nights.  They are quick-witted, creative, and don’t mind saying exactly what is on their minds.  It has helped me to start “thinking outside the box,” which helped me with those speeches and getting the audience laughing and asking question.  I could just relax and stop worrying about doing something stupid.  So, if you guys ever get to read this–and you know who you are (and aren’t)–thank you!

So, to finish up the school year, I can be certain of nine As out of ten classes.  My speech class is the only undetermined factor and I don’t foresee any less than an A- or a B.  Having never had such things explained to me (and, of course, never accomplishing such a task before), I believe this earns me a distinction as graduating “summa cum laude” (or “with greatest/highest praise”).  Wow!  I know of at least one person who never would have thought I would go from a 1.965 GPA in high school to a flat 4.0 (maybe) in college ten years later (okay, fine… two people if I count myself).  While my next education goal is to continue this new trend of mine at St. Louis Community College (Summer 2013) and Ranken Technical College (Fall 2013), I first must wait to find out if I have been accepted.  Between now and my transfer, I look forward to starting work on assembling information for my resume, especially now that I feel I really have an accomplishment I can add rather than sporadic work/school history.

As for my other events since my last blog, I haven’t had many (this being the norm for most prisoners).  The most notable event happened to be a letter I recently received asking if I would like to be someone’s pen pal/friend.  I am a little excited to find out what comes of this because I could use a friend (someone who isn’t in prison).  This is only the second time, outside of family, I have been able to give out my profile address.  I confess I’m worried about what effect learning about my past will have on someone outside of prison, but what’s done is done.  I’m tired of lying about my past (I don’t even hide it in here anymore).  As worried as I am about what someone from outside prison will think of it, I’d rather put it out there at the beginning (and not just because I’m required to by my federal supervised release papers) than to have somebody find out later and be surprised by it after establishing a friendship.  All I can do is pray that someone is giving me that second chance I’ve been wanting.

I am hoping, not that school is completed, I can get back to work on my workbook answers.  I don’t know if I will have my workbook completed by the end of this year (which would be nice), but I will try for that as a goal.  Five months to complete 175 questions seems like a bit much, but all I can do is try.  Thanks to all who have continued to read my profile waiting for an update.  I hope to do better in sending answers more regularly now.

God Bless

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