Kalani Lautele/ Class 8: Relationship Training

by Kalani Lautele

200. What relationship do you have to others in the world?

My relationship with my family has always been strong.  I also have a few friends who have supported me through this prison journey.

201. To what extent do the decisions we make have an influence on the lives of others?

Everything we do can influence the lives of those close to us.

202. In what ways does a relationship with God influence the choices we make or behaviors we pursue?

I think twice about the decisions I make now days.  As my relationship with God steadily grows, I feel more in control over my storms.  Being humble is a difficult thing to do when others mistaking your kindness for weakness but as I continue to read the bible, I focus more and more on the relevant things in life than others’ immaturities and rudeness.

203. In what ways does our relationship to anyone else influence the choices we make or behaviors we pursue?

If everyone had the same personal value as us, they would not have to go through adversities such as incarceration to discover the importance of such values.

204. If everyone in society made decisions from the same code of personal values that we embrace, how would the world advance or decline for future generations, including our children?

It would advance forward in a straight line, and we would all enjoy better lives.

205. To what extent do your choices and behaviors match the choices and behaviors you would want your children or people you love to see and emulate?

I would want my children to emulate much of my values.  I want them to lead a better life than me.  I believe the values I abide by can assure them of a better life.

206. What does it mean to you to live with integrity?

Integrity means to always be honest with yourself, being accountable for your decisions, and to live by your values 110%.

207. What does it mean to you to serve a prison sentence or to confront adversity with dignity?

It means having integrity, never whining or complaining about the bad situations but assessing what can be gained from it.  A book I’m currently reading quotes, “Every adversity, every failure, every mistake, and every heartache comes with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit”.  This I believe because I’m experiencing it through my incarceration.

208. In what ways do your relationships with other prisoners influence your possibility for success upon release?

I’ve been incarcerated with men whom is serving sentences three times of mine.  I notice a few of them carry themselves differently from the others.  They seem to have a glow around them and is always in an uplifting, ambitious state.  It inspires me to see men with longer sentences then mine not be defeated by the adversities that accompanies imprisonment.  They’re always positive and striving forward to better days.

209. How do your relationships with other prisoners influence the way that prison staff members assess you?

Prison staff members just sees me as another laid back islander from Hawaii.  Most guys from Hawaii carries that stereotype of being mellow and having a physic of NFL players.  Although the prisoners I associate with most of the time are business minded people study so often that we’re usually under the prison staff’s radar.

210. In what ways will your relationships with other prisoners influence the probation officer who supervises your release?

From what I’ve heard, I don’t think felons are allowed to associate with each other in society.

211. What efforts are you making today to influence the relationships you will have in the months and years to come?

I’m going to continue to live by my values.

212. In what ways can you influence relationships with people beyond prison boundaries while you’re incarcerated?

The BOP allows us to correspond by telephone, which we are only allowed to have 300 minutes per month, US Postal Services, emails, and limited visitations.

213. How would maintaining relationships with people who embrace criminal values influence your potential for success upon release?

I could loose sight of my goals and possibly return to prison.

214. In what ways do grooming and personal appearance influence your relationship with others?

People tend to take those who groom well more serious.

215. How do writing skills influence the potential for opening new relationships that may lead to success upon release?

Developing good writing skills can transition into good communication skills which can lead to new opportunities and relationships.

216. In what ways are you working now to nurture relationships that may help you succeed upon release?

With the help of the Michael G. Santos Foundation, I’m able to build a profile on the straight A guide web site.  I can share with everyone, by documenting my journey, how I’m working to achieve my goals and success upon my release.  I can nurture and open relationships this way.

217. What influence will your relationships with others have on your possibility for success upon release?

My relationship with businessmen and my family has all increased my possibility for success upon release.  I’ve learned a lot from businessmen incarcerated with me and I continue to do so.  My family’s love and support adds to my ambitions to be successful upon my release.

218. How would prospective mentors respond if they were to hear you attribute your predicament to the choices or actions of another?

Mentors would be more acceptable of a person who holds himself accountable for his wrong doing than blaming others.

219. In what ways does the blaming of outside forces strengthen or weaken your potential for success upon release?

Blaming others for your mistake weakens the potential for success upon release.  It shows you have no accountability, which I believe is an important trait to have because it portrays leadership.

220. How do your relationships with others influence the people closest to you?

I try to build relationships that will better my family’s lives.  How I represent myself upon release and the rest of my life will influence them.

221. To what extent does living with transparency, or as an open book, influence relationships?

Living with transparency shows what kind of morals a person has.  I’m sure honesty is appreciated by many people.

222. How would behaving one way with one group of people and another way with others strengthen or weaken your potential for success upon release?

Someone with multiple personalities who acts differently among multiple group of people can be seen as not trust worthy.  This behavior can weaken your potential for success upon release.

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