Steven Dybvad – Personal Journal – December 12, 2012

by Steven Dybvad

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Today I’m going to take a risk and face my fears. I’m going to the Chow Hall for lunch. I’m concerned and very nervous about problems, or another conflict occurring but this is something I have to face and overcome in order to move forward. I’m sick and tired of surviving off noodles and packaged tuna and summer sausage. My body is desperately craving vegetables, and I want everyone reading this to understand, it’s not necessarily the physical violence that I’m afraid of. It’s a consequential results of an altercation this scares me the most. Whether I start a fight, or someone else does, we all go to the hole. Going to the hole would be a permanent tarnish on my perfect record. A trip to the hole not only ruins my perfect record, but it also ruins my chances for an early release and completely takes away any chances I have of getting my security level dropped and moving to a better prison to finish out my sentence.

Well, I’m back from lunch with no problems. I got my nerves so jarred that my stomach was twisted in knots and I could only eat about half of my tray. But this task today wasn’t just about getting some real food to eat, it was about moving forward in life by reaching my goals, facing my fears, and going outside my protective box. I have a great family, friends, and the Lord to thank for my strength and wisdom to continue on this new and foreign path to a better life.

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