Steven Dybvad – Personal Journal – May 6 through May 12, 2013

by Steven Dybvad

Wednesday, May 1, 2013.

 

Back in action and feeling much better. My back is still sore but, it is indeed improving. This was my second day back out on the yard since the rainy weather and my back injury. I feel as if I never had to take a few days off of jogging and working out. My hard work and dedication to a healthier lifestyle is certainly paying off.

 

Last week, before I hurt my back, I had to make a decision to distance myself from certain individuals that I was once working out with. For safety and security reasons I won’t get into any details. Although I can say is that I refuse to take a single step back from my growth and recovery by compromising any of my morals that I have worked so hard to regain in my life and future as a man with a strong, ferocious will to do better.

 

Monday, May 6, 2013.

 

I used to enjoy the rain outside but, now it’s really annoying to see it raining outside, because the rain keeps us from going outside! So, instead of jogging on the track, counting the miles I run each day, I have to jog standing in place in my cell. Today’s just another rainy day, of course it never slows me down, or deters me from working out, and it’s just a small thorn in my side, one of many thorns acquired from day-to-day life in prison.

 

I think about my on Norma and her battle with cancer, all of the time and I pray for her constantly. This is been very hard on the entire family; I can really see it taking a toll on my mother. I just wish there was something more I could do. I’m just glad that my mother doesn’t have to worry about me, on the street, using drugs, possibly overdosing, or doing something for drugs that could get me killed. I’m really starting to see clearly how much heartache and pain. I was causing my family.

 

 

Tuesday, May 7, 2013.

 

Oh, what an ugly forecast for the weekly weather here in Ohio. Looks like I’ll be jogging in place, here in my cell, at least for the rest of the week. I just can’t wait to get transferred to another prison, where inmates are able to go outside all year long regardless of rain or snow. Not to mention that most of the other prisons in the state of Ohio have tracks that are paved in either black top, or concrete, opposed to the dirt track here at Lebanon, where the dirt is composed of mostly sand and gravel, making it difficult to run on whether it’s dry body.

 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013.

 

I never thought that I’d be saying this, until after I started setting regularly increasing goals. But, now I can very happily say that all of my workout repetitions have reached beyond the thousands, daily. Everything I do, whether its push-ups, crunches, squats, or curling my bag of books, I do 1000 a day, in sets of 25, or 50. I’m so much happier and healthier, ever since December of last year, when I decided my New Year’s resolution would be to focus all of my extra time and energy on improving my health, permanently, and for the rest of my life. And it’s not just fitness that I’m committed to, it’s also what I eat and put in my body altogether. I’m always watching what I’m eating, I’ve stopped eating noodles, I watch my sodium intake, I stopped eating beef he meets like summer sausages, and switch them for tuna and chicken, I don’t ever eat sweets anymore either, I find myself reading the nutritional facts on every package, I only wish I could do the same with the food in the Chow Hall.

 

Thursday, May 9, 2013.

 

I’m getting so frustrated with the seemingly constant injuries to my body. My lower back just started feeling better. A couple of short days ago, now I must have done something to my upper back because I’m paralyzed with pain. I can hardly move around without feeling sharp, throbbing pain. My upper back hurts so much that I can’t even move my head, in order for me to look around I have to move my entire upper body in the direction I want to see. This is so frustrating to me because my health is been so important to me, and these injuries are affecting my daily fitness routine, or anything else for that matter. Even sitting up to read or write is very difficult for me right now.

 

Friday, May 10, 2013.

 

I’m still so entirely frustrated right now! My back is in so much pain, I can’t do a single thing right now, I shouldn’t even be writing this, and I feel bad writing. I’m in so much pain, I hurt. Well I’m lying completely still on my bed. I finally broke down and took some ibuprofen around an hour ago and yet I feel no different.

 

Saturday, May 11, 2013.

 

Last night I received a hall pass for a visit with my mother tomorrow, which is also Mother’s Day, so I called her this morning to check and see if she would really have the time to come out here because I knew she’d be trying to cram many other things into her schedule like visiting her own mother, and sister, who is battling with cancer. I was upset to hear that my Aunt Norma, her sister might not survive the battle. Mom said she was going to spend time with them and come and see me tomorrow, but I asked her not to come and see me, she needs to spend all the time she can with her sister. Besides, I don’t think I could live with any more guilt something were to happen to Norma while my mom was in a prison, visiting with her son. My greatest fear of being incarcerated is losing a loved one, never to see them again, or even attend their funerals. But, right now, I’m more concerned with my mother’s well-being; she just doesn’t need any more on her plate. I’ve caused her so much pain and stress that I never wanted to happen again. So I sit here in my cell, praying to God to heal my Aunt Norma, and comfort my family’s restless hearts, hoping that everyone can have the best Mother’s Day possible tomorrow.

 

Sunday, May 12, 2013.

 

To all of the mothers out there, I wish you a happy Mother’s Day! I’m happy to know that my sobriety has not only allowed me to be able to remember special days like this one, but, also, to have enough care and awareness to take enough time to at least mail out cards to loved ones, and time for them to read them on, or before the special days. Reasons like these continue to give me the strength and motivation to keep improving the quality of my life, every day, setting more goals, reaching them, and preparing for my future in every way possible. Ever-increasing my chances for success, never to return to crime, substances, prison, or even an early death.

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