Steven Dybvad – Personal Journal – November 26, 2012

by Steven Dybvad

Monday, November 26, 2012

I find that I constantly have to kick myself to stay on track; stay focused, and not get down in the dumps. The way of life that I have chosen to live in here as a prisoner is a very difficult one. I have not taken the easy road by living as a hermit, distancing myself from every soul in here by remaining in my cell that is now my fortress of solitude. The path that I’ve chosen is very difficult for me, especially as a recovering addict, it would be much easier for me to get acquainted with the people that are  using drugs, cooking hooch, getting tattoos, gambling and so on and so forth. I could easily get lost in that world and forget about all of my problems but the reality is that not only would living that way in here just prolong my problems, it would also create many more problems. My sobriety has opened my eyes to a great many harsh realities but I thank God every day that he removed those unhealthy urges for inebriation. God has helped me to open my eyes and my heart, and although I feel a great deal of pain as a result of this awakening, I welcome it, I wouldn’t change a thing, because the pain is given me purpose, it makes me feel alive again when I’ve been dead for so long. I have solid goals, aspirations, and dreams for a new, rich and fulfilling life with my family and children after my release from this wretched institution. So, at the end of the day I’m thankful for my suffering because I need to remember this life as a life I never want to even consider returning to.

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